The Classical World Would Not Take Me Seriously; Cristina Spinei

I have relegated my ‘serious composer’ clothes to a dark little corner of my closet. Shapeless dresses and frumpy blazers hang dejectedly, having failed in their mission to make the classical music world see me as a serious talent.

The last time that I donned my sad composer costume was at a new music conference a few years ago. I arrived for the weekend’s events fully prepared - hair pulled back, glasses on, settled in practical pumps. My music was being performed at one of the main concerts and I was looking forward to making connections and creating opportunities to work with new musicians. The debut of my composition went wonderfully but instead of a commission, I left the conference with an inappropriate proposition from a musician - and his wife. I always thought that dressing in a serious way would focus attention on my music and away from myself. I realized that no matter what I wore or how I looked, the classical music world wouldn’t take me seriously. I don’t think it’s just an issue of being a female composer, it’s more nuanced than that. The classical music world is unwelcoming to a composer who writes tonal music with funky rhythms and serves it all up with a smile.

I’m an outgoing, positive, Italian-American Catholic woman from Stamford, Connecticut. I studied composition for eight years at Juilliard and decided to pursue an entrepreneurial path in music instead of an academic one. My first year out of conservatory I had commissions from the Pacific Northwest Ballet, KDNY Dance, Mary Seidman and Keystone Dancers, and co-founded an experimental new music/new technology group, Blind Ear. I’ve worked with many choreographers and have had my music performed and recorded internationally.

My debut album, Music for Dance, was released in 2016 by Toccata Classics. I was one of only a few female composers that year to release a solo album on a label. With my growing list of accomplishments, I have been continually bemused by the condescending responses I receive from people who bask in the attention of being vocal ‘supporters’ of female composers. Unless I were to combine my sad composer costume with self-important jargon and prickly experimental music, I do not see this changing.

It’s important to me that my music moves people in some way. It has taken me a while, but now I am fully embracing my aesthetic and composing the music that I’ve always wanted to write. My new EP Mechanical Angels is the first of many projects where I’m going back to my musical roots. Melodies always have come to me easily and it feels liberating to indulge in them again. I’m enjoying the effect that a simple, well-harmonized line can have. Relics, a piece for solo piano on Mechanical Angels, is one of my favourite compositions to date. I had the melody for a while but wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. I decided to simplify the music and create a little more space between the notes. It gives the music a feeling of being exposed and open to personalization.

The images for my new music are also very important. I commissioned artist Caroline Bowman to design the score covers for Mechanical Angels. The brightly colored roses bordered by gold chains are the perfect compliment to my work. I decided to do a music video, my first ever, for Relics. I had the videographer and the location secured but I was still going back-and-forth about the dress. I really wanted to wear something true to my aesthetic but there remained a nagging thought that I wouldn’t be taken seriously if I wore something flashy. In the end I decided upon an ornate pearl adorned, bedazzled dress, of which I’m sure Liberace would approve. It hangs quite comfortably in my closet and I think I know how to make room for a few more like it.